Description
As Long As I Am In The Tent of This Body I Will Make A Joyful Noise Pt. 2 is an album by the American singer and songwriter John Van Deusen, independently released on Anotherland in August 2026.
> Apple Music (https://music.apple.com/us/album/as-long-as-i-am-in-the-tent-of-this-body-i-will/1891406512)
Album tracklist:
01. Come Now Heavy Laden
02. In All, Sustain All (feat. Salvation Choir)
03. The Throne of Grace
04. With Everything We Praise the Lord (feat. Tenielle Neda)
05. Just Because You Wanted Us (feat. Jon Guerra)
06. Only Living If I’m Abiding (feat. Tyson Motsenbocker)
07. Joyful Noise (feat. Citizens)
08. A Call To Worship
09. Mountain Mover
10. The Lord Our God, The Lord Is One
11. In A Way I Can’t Explain
12. Holy Brother Are you Nigh (feat. Andy Squyres)
13. This Is Love (feat. Sandra McCracken)
14. Empire of Me
15. No One Else But You (feat. Taylor Armstrong)
16. There Is A Way Home
17. Isn’t It Good
18. Jesus Abide in Me (feat. Blake Clawson)
19. Left It On The Cross (feat. Chris Renzema)
20. Goodbye
Note: Available at Bandcamp: https://iamjohnvandeusen.bandcamp.com/album/as-long-as-i-am-in-the-tent-of-this-body-i-will-make-a-joyful-noise-pt-2
As is my custom, I now sit down to write the “letter” that accompanies the release of ‘As Long As I Am In The Tent Of This Body I Will Make A Joyful Noise’ Part II.
Thank you. I am grateful for your time, attention and support. I can’t even put into words how amazing it is that you would listen to my music. Indeed, one of the greatest privileges of my life is making art that grows in meaning as other people adopt it into their own lives, homes and prayers.
I think back… and the making of this album feels like a strange, drug-induced dream. Time feels wibbly-wobbly; my memories feel like I watched a movie of myself making an album. If you’ve read the letter for Part I (maybe go do that on bandcamp if you haven’t), you’ll know that I struggled with serious depression during the years it took to complete this project. I don’t want to complain or make you feel sorry for me. However, I want to be honest about what was happening in my heart, mind, body and home while creating this work of art.
I would go downstairs and lock myself in a small room that is about the size of a walk-in closet. I’d take a deep breath and welcome the Holy Spirit as I would an old friend and collaborator. I’d try not to overthink anything; caring very little about how something “sounded” and really only paying attention to how it “felt”.
For those moments, locked in that room, I became my truest self. I raised a middle finger to everything about music, art and commerce that had been hammered into my brain. I stripped away my insecurities about making Christian rock music – the thing I was most afraid of accepting as a part of my public identity. I began to dance while the delay pedal crashed in on itself over and over – guitar feedback screaming, ascending, reaching up to the clouds like sonic incense; wafting up and transcending into the heavenly spaces.
And then I’d catch my breath and imagine Jesus smiling. I could have been projecting what I needed in those moments. However, they felt real. Spiritual experience or precarious mental health; God only knows.
After a few hours I’d realize I hadn’t eaten and decide to leave the cave. Sometimes I could hear a child screaming and recognize it as a reason to pause.
Upstairs I would find my wife Annababe taking care of our children, home, finances, schedules and pretty much everything else. I’d try to re-enter with integrity but it was difficult to divorce myself from the incomplete project down in the studio. There were so many songs. So many parts and lyrics to be written. If I slowed down it may never cross the finish line. What if I died before it was finished?
And then the symptoms would start. FLIGHT. Muscles, blood and brain felt “wrong”. No other way to describe it. My mind would crave strange things like driving to the seaside and swimming away. I could imagine sinking into the icy ocean as a freedom from whatever the hell I was experiencing.
I would tell my wife, therapist and family about these feelings and they’d kick into gear and do what was needed to help me feel grounded and safe. And then the cycle would restart: record music as a form of worship, be a shell of a dad and husband, feel “wrong”. Echo.
Eventually the album left my basement and entered into far away studios to let better minds track, mix and master my opus into completion.
You know what’s interesting? Even typing out this little letter brings up emotions. I suspect it will take a few years for me to unravel all of this.
Right now, I am going to ask my wife how she feels about the album being finished.
Her answer: “Relieved. I look forward to you moving on. It’s taken up so much of your brain, heart and our family’s life.”
There you have it.
What does it mean to be depressed while worshipping God?
What does it say about being human?
God knew I was going to struggle in this way.
He is never surprised by the onset of darkness or insanity in His children.
Did He give me this “creative mission”; this long and protracted work of creation in order to tether me to Him during a dark period?
How merciful is our Good Shepherd. He wastes nothing.
Please, take this album as a gift. I am handing it over to you. Imagine it like a little potted pear tree. Plant it in your yard. May it bear fruit. May it bring you closer to God. That would mean so much to me.
Much love
JVD
8-21-26 [Published on John Van Deusen’s Bandcamp website]
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